Therapy Doesn’t Always Work
“What do you mean, I’m still messed up?” “You didn’t fix me!” Shock horror, psychologists are not miracle workers, nor can we magically fix everyone with a magic wand.
This can be a very difficult pill to swallow, but don’t let it be one that you don’t at least try.
It is hugely satisfying as a therapist that the world is becoming more accepting of mental health issues, self-care is flying up the charts and therapy is a less ‘shameful’ activity.
But that doesn’t mean it’s an easy ride or money back guarantee. All the ingredients in the mix have to work together, and that means you have to be actively involved in the baking. Stop sitting on the couch and expecting to be ‘cured’ by your therapist.
How To Make Therapy Work For You
You really have to be IN it and by that I mean, this is your therapy, you are paying for it so make it work by doing the work. Be actively involved, do the homework, show up, be honest, throw whatever you have at it.
Accept the process. It can be wildly tormenting when you don’t come away with the answers, but often the answers show up in the coming days following therapy not during the session itself.
The ‘magic’ happens in between sessions when you have time and space to practice new approach, test new strategies and techniques, when you work on upgrading your skills. Each session is only 50min long and you have 168 hours in a week. Invest your time in your practice and progression.
Focus and refocus on your goals, switch them up and down, they can be fluid. And feedback to your therapist to bring them on the journey with you - we are not mind readers.
Understand that it will likely make you uncomfortable, and be comfortable with that. The exploration of your emotions and actions can be deeply unnerving, so dig in deep and know that the reward will bring lightness and a sense of achievement.
Let’s Drop Some Therapist Terms!
Knowing the lingo we use, may help to make it work for you, here are some that you may hear and how to interpret them:
“This is all part of the process.” - This bit may be difficult for you, but it will get easier
"This is the work." - This is exactly where you need to be, let’s explore this together
"Be gentle with yourself." - Try not to be/say negative things about yourself, you’re here now and that’s the positive
"Feel the feeling." - Explore what you’re experiencing, don’t run from it
"Hold space." - Practice listening and accepting, you don’t need to fix that right now
In Summary, My 8 Best Tips As A Psychologist To Get The Most From Therapy
There is no judgement from me, let loose during your sessions
We work together, but I can’t fix you, you have to do your bit
I won’t hold back if I’m thinking something, so trust what I say or don’t say
Trust works both ways, if you don’t feel the connection it’s ok to tell me
Keep going, be proactive and it will get easier
Happiness and contentment are the ultimate goal, not flicking a switch and closing the book
I’m not here to fix what’s “wrong” with you. I will however share ideas, strategies and approaches to help you move through what’s happening
Be proud of yourself. Stick with it, you are so brave and you will get there.
I hope it was helpful,
Beata