Finding Your Purpose - why is it so hard?

FINDING YOUR PURPOSE - why is it so hard?

As a psychologist or life coach, what do we mean when we say “find your purpose?”

In life coaching terms, purpose has been a key driver for decades however it has recently found its way into more regular mental wellness discussion, and as a guiding principle for finding contentment.

Individuals can seek ‘Purpose’, but also businesses. So why is purpose so important and why is it so hard to find?

What Do We Mean By Purpose?

Your purpose is your goal, your aim in life. It doesn’t have to be something 100 per cent achievable, but it should be the carrot that you desire to chase down. It should fill you with hunger and passion.

Purpose is usually greater than your everyday tasks. It’s not necessarily your job or what you set out to do in your day. But something that will be your legacy, something you would be proud to have achieved.

Why Is Having Purpose Important?

Knowing our purpose can help us to live life to the fullest, by having clarity in our decisions and relationships. It helps us identify our values which in turn, can lead us to  creating our personal vision and defining our goals.

A business without ‘Purpose’ may struggle to identify its customers or to communicate its values. An individual without purpose may experience conflict in relationships and ultimately feel unfulfilled and a chronic sense of dissatisfaction.

Many of us can describe moments of indescribable, perhaps intangible, longing. Having clear goals can give us peace, integrity and personal success.

Photo credit Yosef Futsum

Why Is It So Hard To Find Your Purpose?

Very few of us are born knowing what we want to do in life, what the end goal is. Some of us (possibly a large number) die still not ever having had a clue what we were “supposed to do” with our lives. But the simple fact is, it isn’t handed to us, we need to put the work in to find it.

There is often a disparity between our seemingly successful outer selves, and our inner peace and true contentment. You have to look beyond self-gratification to a purpose that is greater than your ego.

Purpose transcends everyday happiness. It is a state of deep contentment that underpins your life no matter what the fluctuating ups and downs are.

4 Steps To Help Find Your Purpose

1.Forget about self-interest. Examine your choices from an objective position.

Purpose is a higher state and often a spiritual or at least intangible concept. Find that place that is bigger than you, where you can become so immersed that you forget everything else.

Don’t get bogged down in the ‘everyday’.

What do you want your legacy to be? How do you want to leave your mark on the world and its people?

2. You do not need to have one rigid purpose. Life does not have to be seen as one neat, linear chunk. It can be broken down into manageable, fluid and organic pieces of time. This makes it less daunting when you do make a decision as you know that essentially that outcome may only be temporary.

Your purpose can change throughout your life.

3. Try breaking the concept down into the following...

Your Passion - Your strengths - Your skills

Passion is the end result of something that stimulates curiosity within you

Strengths are learnt from building upon experience

Skills arise from immersing yourself in training towards a goal

 When these three align, often your Purpose becomes clearer.

4. When you get an inkling, go after it. If during your exploration you are pulled to a theme, explore it fully and completely and be present and aware of the sensations it brings you.

Those who are successful in finding their purpose, often report inner peace and a true sense of ease with the world. In an emotionally complex place, it’s worth putting the time in so you can join them.

I wish you all the best,

Beata