Secret to master bad emotions

CATEGORY: , , , , 22.01.18

Removing bad emotions

Do you want to delete some of your emotions? Divert attention from it, downplay, or bottle it up in yourself? Sure, I know, it’s not easy to feel overwhelmed and down. I get you, and what’s interesting is that we often forget that in fact THERE ARE NO BAD EMOTIONS, they are all needed.


They are needed in appropriate proportions.

Thinking about the proportions, during the day we have more good things happening to us than unpleasant. The difference is that we don’t see it, because our brain focuses on the threats. Nature has equipped us this way, with a sets of emotions to pay attention to those situations which are dangerous to our wellbeing. The most popular in psychology is the set of six basic emotions by Paul Ekman:

  • fear
  • anger
  • disgust
  • sadness
  • surprise
  • happiness

and hey, look at the proportions again – 4:2 – four emotions negative and two positive. Nature created this for us so we were capable of adequate response to the challenges in life. From the evolution point of view this set is ideal. Strongly developed emotions are guaranteeing good response to the threat.

Translation – you will live because you feel anger therefore you can react to the situation accordingly – and here the whole new level of game begins, how to react accordingly, right? what is good reaction and what isn’t? Well, first things first, you need to notice what you feel and how is this emotion different from let’s say sadness. Notice your feelings, name it, understand it and only then work on it.

PC Weronika Trojanowska

1. Notice what you feel

In coaching we have one simple rule, ask as many questions as you can to get best answer. And best answer is the almost ALWAYS built from many many other small answers, so don’t be afraid to dig deeper.

2. Name it

What are the differences between some emotions? It depends, as always, everyone has its own definition for each of them, same as everyone is experiencing it differently. However, to make it easier, I put some of general differences for you below. Use it as a guidance, not clear facts and absolute truth.







3. Understand it

We need all emotions to survive, to live healthy and balanced lifestyle. The same as we need to work on all of them, with different intensity and attention given but non of the emotions shall be forgotten or neglected. It’s easiest way to let imbalance rule our reactions. Understanding what you feel means to accept the fact, that it’s appearing for a reason. That is it. You do not need to agree whether it’s good or bad, it’s needed and you can make use of it, that is it.

4. Work on it

The imbalance is getting bigger every single day. Let me explain what I mean here, when we feel afraid even just a little bit, we feel it clearly, we get physical reactions which are harder to be dismissed but when we feel happy, pleased or satisfied it seems to us that nothing is happening. We take it as normal state of being, and the mistake we make – is that we don’t notice it. When was the last time you thought ‘I just want to be happy’? Was it when you felt overwhelmed, sad, tired of trying, felt like you have done all you could and nothing seems to work in a long term? Yeeeees, exactly. We tend to dream about change when we notice imbalance and I want to encourage you to be two steps ahead and notice the feelings.


Soooo, what’s the secret to master ‘bad emotions’? you could ask. Well, I say ACKNOWLEDGEMENT is pretty powerful and a great beginning for making the change happen 🙂

Challenge for you

Appreciate what your body feels. Notice the difference between morning feelings and evening ones. Show your head how strong your heart is and smile a lot. Be yourself, consciously. Curiosly notice how you are expressing your emotions.


Positive emotions are much less diverse than negative. All nice feelings are perceived as the same and we rarely say the truth. Instead we act automatically, giving the same answers all day long (if we are giving those answers to others, we do the same toward ourselves, and it’s the imbalance begins)

‘How are you?’

‘I’m ok’ – that’s all. I know, sometimes when the day is good we have more verity  saying I’m fine, I’m well, I’m good. But are you, really? Always, when asked?

I hope you will accept the challenge and increase your awareness about how it truly is now. Be brave and experiment with your observations.

You have all you need,




by Beata Justkowiak



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