Fear – Top Challenges of Expat’s Life
Fear manifests itself in the form of worry, tension, anxiety, confusion and all well known ‘What if..?’ scenarios. We fear everything, so naturally we attempt to control or prevent what we fear most. The difficulty is that, fear keeps us focused on the past and constantly worried about the future. The key question is how do you perceive stress?
A challenge or threat
A high level of anxiety causes people to achieve results below their normal capabilities in any field. People who are fearful are very hesitant to explore new concepts or embrace other possibilities. You can always estimate the level of a person’s fear by how they explore new surroundings and inspect objects around them.
Studies show that regardless of age, women have higher levels of anxiety than men. They more intensively compare themselves with others, which is linked to the image of women in magazines, social medias but also public expectations to variety of roles in life women needs to face.
Society tends to tell us how to be good mother, wife, daughter, friend – how to live and this is why we often stop ourselves from expressing what is cumulating inside. We stop ourselves from verbalising an opinion, from a right to disagree, from saying equally YES and NO, and at the end we try to stop to feel when told we are too emotional.
It’s crazy to choose to live like this in a long run.
Recognize the fear
Being an expat myself and working as Expat’s Coach, I have observed the most common symptoms of fear. Here is the list for you to have a look at and see if any of it sounds familiar.
Cognitive Symptoms – IN YOUR MIND
Indecision, Embarrassment, Heaviness, Dark thoughts, Poor concentration, Exasperation, Forgetfulness, Loss of confidence, A feeling of weakness, Continuous dissatisfaction, Inability to follow instructions, Thoughts about avoiding situations
Somatic symptoms – IN YOUR BODY
Elevated blood pressure, Heart pounding, Rapid breathing, Butterflies in my stomach, Adrenaline rush, Dry mouth, The need to urinate, The stiffness of the neck and shoulder, Lack of appetite, Insomnia, Nausea.
Behavioural symptoms – IN YOUR ACTION
Nail biting, Excessive caution, The violence of the movements, Closing in itself, Unusual manifestations of aggression, Eye contact avoidance and Covering face with hands.
As you noticed, most of ‘visible’ symptoms are inside of you so if you keep stopping yourself from seeing it, feeling it, expressing it, you keep hurting yourself.
Fact to memorise: our brains are poorly equipped to weigh risks that don’t result in immediate negative consequences
Psychology research suggests we generally like to be able to anticipate consequences. That’s why the act of falling can be so frightening; we don’t know what to expect when we land.
Let’s say you are afraid of your future. What you really fear is the uncertainty that surrounds events yet to happen. By living totally in the present and by planning ahead you can reduce the uncertainty and fear. You cannot plan for all uncertainties but being prepared to an extent reduces your fear of uncertainties. Learn the art of enjoying it, too.
A lot of times, our worrying can make the problem even worse. All the worrying in the world will not change anything. All you can do is to do your best each day.
Helpful tools which you can use daily are MINDFULNESS and VISUALISATION.
Let’s stop a fear of failure, fear of unknown to be a socially acceptable.
Let’s make a use of knowledge from psychology and tools from coaching.
Let’s start today, together 😉