Negative emotions needed
There are emotions that are pleasurable and other that makes life miserable.
Even stress is harmful only in two cases: when it is too much or too little in our lives. Long-lasting causes fatigue of the body and as a consequence of illness, and too low level gives a feeling of impotence and boredom. In life, medium-intensity stress is necessary, in which the challenge facing us is assessed as suited to our skills and abilities.
Questions that help you accept your emotions and understand their role:
- What are my needs trodden in this situation? What limits are exceeded?
- This emotion appeared, so how can it serve me?
- What positive emotion would be the opposite of what I am experiencing in this situation?
While we can ignore or distract our daily irritating situations, eg. listening to the audiobook, we can’t easily get rid of difficult and traumatic events from our consciousness. What’s more, displacement can even exacerbate them.
Intuition suggests talking to a friend or other kind-hearted person, however, research confirms that talking about a difficult event with an unqualified person has no effect on reducing the pain associated with trauma.
From a psychological point of view, reading and writing are quite different activities. An oral statement can be chaotic, devoid of structure, even chaotic. For this, writing requires creating a storytelling order that helps people understand what has happened to them and find a solution to the problem. In conclusion, speaking can heighten the feeling of being lost, while writing forces the adoption of a more systematic and specific way of thinking.
We are biologically programmed to strive for happiness. How is it going?
Psychologist Nancy Etcoff decided to check it out and in 2004 she shared her observations, we try to achieve happiness:
– Reading the guides (on the Amazon website you can find over 16,000 book titles referring to happiness and steps to achieve it),
– taking tablets (at the time, about 120 million prescriptions for antidepressants were issued in the US)
– reaching for the drug.
We try but we are not even near to being better. Our social status is improving, the world is giving more and more opportunities, so why are not we happier?
“People are happy when life goes on fast – says Nancy Etcoff – when they are absorbed by the outside world, when they are among others, when they are active, play sports, concentrate on a loved one, learn, do sex, etc. Not when they are sitting in front of the mirror and try to figure out, they think about themselves. ” Everything that gives a sense of bond, community and love not only makes us happy, but also heals us.
ILLNESS vs WELLNESS
Richard Wiseman confirmed the study that focusing on others makes us happier than focusing on ourselves. The lasting sense of happiness gives us
– dealing with difficult events by writing about them
– doing something selflessly for others
– being grateful.